I started blogging at the start of this year. By most bloggers standards I have been rubbish. I think this is the first blog I've done in nearly 6 months. But for me it was about a journey I felt I was starting rather than wanting to be part of the "blogger club". I wanted to change my working life and, if I'm looking back honestly, other parts of my life too.
I kind of knew where I wanted to get to and where I was but that doesn't mean you have clear directions as to how to get from where you are, to where you want to be.
Reading back blogs and thinking about things I also think that there is a large element of me having thought that someone would dump the life I wanted in my lap. I wouldn't have to make tough decisions, I wouldn't have to worry about money - it would just all magically happen. Yes I know. I'm rolling my eyes too.
This year has been far from what I'd planned. After the difficulties of the last few years I thought it would be the year that everything came together and a new start. A touch naive really. But there and again if you don't have optimism what are you left with?
I have been reminded this year about what is really important and I think there have been many lessons. I watched a very good friend go through an agonising time and have to deal with that. We lost someone very unexpectedly and without chance to say goodbye. We also learned that a family member is very ill and 2013 will probably see us have to say a very painful goodbye.
I have also watched my children grow and develop and try to make sense of the world. My son is 5 and is reading and writing and learning things every day at school. My daughter is 2 (going on 6) and has definite opinions about what she likes and dislikes.
I've been learning that there are never any easy answers. But I've been reminded that we all only have one life and when we get to the end do we want to see a list of missed opportunities and regrets? No. Absolutely not. I've also learned that the help people will give you, if you ask, is amazing and wonderful. And really there's nothing wrong with asking for help (repeat: there is nothing wrong with asking for help).
So I am making plans and I am starting to take steps to take control of my life and to try to achieve the life I want, the work/life balance I want. Me. I'm doing it. Because, really, who else should be in control of my life? Life cannot be unstressful but you can try to just get stressed about the stuff that really matters. You need grit, strength, determination, optimism, positivity, love and support. I reckon I've got all that if I can just remember that.......
