So today is my last day at work. I have worked at this firm for nearly 7 years. I have had times when I have loved my job here. I have made some good friends and I know that at least one of my colleagues will be a friend for life.
But there have been dark times. There have been times when I've felt bullied. There have been times when I've felt my professional ethics have been in direct conflict with my job. There have been times when I've felt the conflict between being a mummy and being a lawyer so acutely I've felt I might rip in two.
I've learnt a lot in this job too: about life, about the work I do, about the professional I want to be. I've also learned that actually I do have something to contribute and that people will listen to my opinions. Twitter has given me the most amazing gifts. The gift of confidence that actually I'm good at what I do and worth listening to, a whole new world of contacts, and I feel like I've had some proper mentoring in a way that I never had in my "actual" career.
My resignation was not an amicable thing. The senior partner has taken it very personally and accused me of having very deliberately embarked upon a course of action to get some training paid and then leave. She was quite rude and unpleasant when I resigned (by e-mail not in person) and has then not seen me or spoken to me since I resigned.
For my part I will miss some great people but I've known for some time that this job is not where I want to be personally or professionally. So I'm scared about doing something myself but I'm also excited that I will control the work I do and the ethics of what I do. I feel properly happy in a way I haven't for a while. I can already see that I'm less stressed, and am shouting less at my husband and my children. Long may this continue!
Lastly, thank you to everyone who has played a part in the journey of mummylawyer. I will still be tweeting and I might even still blog. I will be keeping this anonymous account. I have a professional account that I will use for work (it's probably less fun but potential clients may be slightly unnerved by me ranting about my children blocking the loo again). I really couldn't have got this far without the kindness of strangers. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
